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The Wounds of a Friend

May 18, 2013

best friendsWhat do you think makes a true friend? Someone who’s loyal and caring? someone who’s fun and yet supportive?

What about someone who’s honest with you?

This is what the bible says:

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

Proverbs 27:7

I can’t possibly overstate how much this verse has changed my life.

These days we lack integrity with this sort of thing. We’re too afraid of upsetting people that we shy away from telling them what they need to hear, and instead tell them what they want to hear.

I remember working with a chap who everyday would eat a big bag of chips, a couple of chocolate bars, a couple of bags of crisps and then down it all with a 2 litre bottle of coca cola, and this was just his lunch break! His teeth were a mess, his skin was a mess, he looked very unwell and he was significantly overweight.

But from what I could observe no-one said anything to him about it, we were all concerned about him, but we didn’t want to upset him.

BFFSA true friend would have said something.

It’s important to think about how we communicate, making sure we approach sensitive subjects with grace and humility but if we want to be a sincere friend then we need to be able to wound our friends for their own good.

So what does that look like in practise?

I have a close circle of friends whom I trust, and because I know they love me, then even when it hurts, I can take it when they wound me. And believe me sometimes I need wounding!

You see in life, no matter what you do, people will always be ready to flatter you or have a pop at you, that’s why you need a circle of friends whom you can trust. They can help save you from pride but they can also help save you from despair.

So why not spend today having a think about friendship.

Do you have a circle of friends who are close enough to wound you when you need to be wounded?

imagesIf not then for your own good get some.

The likelihood is that If you’re not being wounded at any point by your friends it’s not because you have everything sorted, it’s  either because you don’t have friends close enough, or the friends that are close don’t know the importance of wounding you.

  1. Miz permalink

    re; the chap at work, maybe God wanted you to become a friend to him rather than being an on looker, looking at the outside not what was on the inside of that chap, who knows why he felt the need to eat what he did maybe there was life issues that he struggled with, these now manifested in eating or maybe he just wanted to eat it, you’d only find out if you build up a relationship. I believe the only true sincere friend we have is Jesus, the only true honest thing that people need to hear is that God loves them. No matter how many things we think we should tell people we really need to be careful does it condemn or does it give hope and restoration, are we accepting that person as Christ accepts us- unconditionally. Proverbs 27 v6 allow the work of Grace to penetrate into peoples lives, Colossians 4v5,6 without Grace working we’ll be speaking from our ‘humanness’ which is never a good thing. Its back to that excellent saying W.W.J.D it sets a good standard before we open our mouths. Have a fantastic blessed day that blesses others with the mighty love of God my friend.

  2. Hi mate,

    You’re right to say that I should have done better with my friend at work, the truth is I wasn’t close enough to speak to him in that way, a key factor to that proverb that i’ve quoted is that it talks about the wounds of a ‘friend’ – I simply didn’t have the relationship – however I should have built that relationship and then got close enough to speak lovingly with him – you live and you learn.

    I also agree that Jesus is the truest and most sincere friend we have, and yes the best thing someone can hear is that God loves them unconditionally but let’s not forget that God loved us enough not just to welcome us as we are (justification) but also He loves us enough to not leave us where we are (sanctification). We ought to be the same to other people, we love people unconditionally, but it’s that very same love that drives us to speak up in truth when needed. If someone I loved was walking towards pit – I would speak up and warn them, it’s much the same I think when people adopt lifestyles that are unhelpful and even dangerous – they need friends to speak up.

    WWJD is a very good way to ‘check’ anything you think, say or do, but the truth is Jesus would speak up and we can see that in the New Testament. We often think of Jesus as meek and mild, but he was very blunt at times, even rude to some people, but He knew what people needed to hear instead of what they wanted to hear.

    I pray that by God’s grace I can be more and more like that.

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